In the last 15 years or so the term “boundaries” has become almost a buzz word. So many couples I speak with think of boundaries as telling someone else what they must do or not do, like “you will never treat me like that again”.

I like tools. In fact, I have a lot of tools. It’s obvious what most are used for, but some of them have a more specific purpose, requiring a little more knowledge and experience. However, when my kids were growing up, a butter knife seemed to work very well as a screwdriver.

Change comes from first knowing the way to freedom and then remembering it over and over again. It’s somewhat like studying a painting, seeing the beauty, complexity, the message, even being moved by it and then forgetting it as soon as you walk away.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “surrender”? Most familiar definitions offer something like this: stop resisting to an enemy and submit to their authority; capitulate; give up; yield; concede; defer; acquiesce; back down…

There are numerous research studies on the benefits of gratitude, but there may be some unintended consequences when it comes to how we think about it. Being grateful is encouraged from an early age, but often not just as a choice, but rather as a mandate.

The bible offers verses that encourage community and connection … such as “two are better than one” and “don’t forsake assembling of yourselves together”. When I read these, I sometimes take it as merely a suggestion.