One area that often tripped us up in marriage was expectations. These formed many of our myths about marriage. But expectations are often unrealistic, and it’s been said “an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen”.
All couples face challenges. In their book, “In Quest of the Mythical Mate”, the authors describe the stages of marriage in a way that was very helpful for us.
Most people like to see themselves as positive and open-minded. They say they are accepting of change and have a growth mindset. But the way they respond to a few statements can reveal something quite different.
I so often pray for guidance. What should I do next? How do I help this child? Where should I go to school? Is this a good time to move? But one day as I was writing out all my concerns, I noticed the word guidance and I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word.
Years ago, I took golf in college. The instructor constantly told us to visualize, or focus, on where we wanted the ball to go. My tendency, though, was to scan the fairway for sand traps, trees, and water … and inevitably I would hit the ball right where I didn’t want it to go.